Never trust a dog to watch your food.

It's too bad it's not normal for women as it is for men to mow the yard shirtless. These weird tan lines suck.

I watched a Friday Night Lights marathon on hulu last night. It might be a little hokie but I like it; I just forget to watch it on its normal night.

I finally replaced my lost library card yesterday. I wonder if I can read these 5 books in 2 weeks time. I think I got a little greedy.

Oldest grandson's all-star games start tonight. Since it was his first year to play, he started in the minors. His minors team played a scrimmage game against the majors team in his age group the other night and won the game.

The plague is still hanging on, but it is losing power. I thought I could smell a gas leak, but I wasn't sure since I lost the ability to smell and taste with this cold. I'm still alive so it must have been my imagination.



Squirrels are evil denizens of satan disguised as cute with little bushy tails and my dog is their fiercest foe. They're really brave when running the fence line to tease Scout, but they'd bloody well better not lose their footing because she'll show them no mercy. I hope if that ever happens I don't have to witness it.

I think my house is haunted. One day I walked into my bedroom and I heard a cheery woman's voice say, "hello there!" Another late evening as I was lying in bed reading I heard men's voices mumbling in conversation coming from the living room. It wasn't scary.

I probably just sealed the deal on crazy by writing about that, but I prefer the word eccentric.

Really, I have always wished I had the nerve to be an eccentric. I'd wear flowey skirts and big sun hats and ride a bicycle with a basket to the market. I'd paint whimsical surrealist paintings and have a yard full of garden with no grass to mow.
h/t Don
Alas, a monarch, even a fraudulent one, must cultivate stately decorum and enjoy her jollies vicariously.

I want to see Russell Brand reprise his Forgetting Sarah Marshall role as Aldous Snow in Get him to the Greek. More trailers here.

I've got cooties

It would be a perfect temperature outside to mow the lawn this morning or to hit the streets again to look for a job if my head didn't feel like it weighs a ton from this summer cold. It's vicious and virulent. I sound like a foghorn and it's made me a mouth breather. I am going to stuff my nose with tissue to stop the drip since I can't breath through it anyway.

I stubbed my middle toe on the couch and ripped off half the toe nail. I am going to wear sandals anyway. Maybe I can polish the toe to look like the nail is there.

I feel pretty.

I wonder how many attorneys google themselves. Maybe I could find a job doing what this guy did.

pardon my cynicism...

...but I wonder which one of the Gores got caught cheating.

Holy Shrimp!

Can you imagine?! This photo of a giant sinkhole that opened up in Guatemala City is on Yahoo's front page right now. It looks like something out of a horror film. It swallowed at least one three-story building. The symmetry of the hole makes it look as if it were drilled on purpose. I wonder what anomaly under the Earth's surface could have caused such a thing to happen.