In the Roadrunner cartoon, the coyote has been chasing him for 25 years. I'd like to see him finally get right up to him and go "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, I hope they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.
Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?"
It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
source
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Stuff
I turned my heat on a couple of days ago. I am a wimp. I can't stand being cold. I tried to keep from turning it on so I enjoy a couple of months of lower energy bills. So much for that.
Hallelujah, the elections are over. No more political ads! I was watching the news the other day and they were breaking it down nationwide as to which party had more personal attack ads. I don't remember the actual percentages but the Democrats were responsible overall for the most attack ads. I was surprised the liberal media (I think it was Dianne Sawyer reporting)would report such ugly facts. I don't like politics. I think someone who goes into the political arena with truly altruistic intentions either gets beat down until they quit/lose or they turn to the dark side.
Tomorrow is the last game of the season for grandson's football team. I imagine they'll be in the play-offs. Last week's game was really exciting. They played the number 1 team in the league and beat them 8-0. That team (from Brock) was previously undefeated and averaged over 20 points a game. Grandson's team's defense never let them get closer to their end zone than the 30 yard line. It was the best game of the season, and not only because of the win.
Last night's Divorce Care program was about sex. I regressed back to my tween years and had a really difficult time not giggling all the way through the film. To make it even more uncomfortable, I was sitting next to a man who sort of seems interested in me, he asked me to dinner 2 weeks ago and last night gave me his phone number. It's all too confusing to someone who hasn't been single for a long time. I'm still thinking of becoming a nun...or possibly a Mormon.
Thank you for the interest in my painting. The winning bid, much to my surprise and consternation, was a staggering $250. Whodathunkit!
Hallelujah, the elections are over. No more political ads! I was watching the news the other day and they were breaking it down nationwide as to which party had more personal attack ads. I don't remember the actual percentages but the Democrats were responsible overall for the most attack ads. I was surprised the liberal media (I think it was Dianne Sawyer reporting)would report such ugly facts. I don't like politics. I think someone who goes into the political arena with truly altruistic intentions either gets beat down until they quit/lose or they turn to the dark side.
Tomorrow is the last game of the season for grandson's football team. I imagine they'll be in the play-offs. Last week's game was really exciting. They played the number 1 team in the league and beat them 8-0. That team (from Brock) was previously undefeated and averaged over 20 points a game. Grandson's team's defense never let them get closer to their end zone than the 30 yard line. It was the best game of the season, and not only because of the win.
Last night's Divorce Care program was about sex. I regressed back to my tween years and had a really difficult time not giggling all the way through the film. To make it even more uncomfortable, I was sitting next to a man who sort of seems interested in me, he asked me to dinner 2 weeks ago and last night gave me his phone number. It's all too confusing to someone who hasn't been single for a long time. I'm still thinking of becoming a nun...or possibly a Mormon.
Thank you for the interest in my painting. The winning bid, much to my surprise and consternation, was a staggering $250. Whodathunkit!
Fast Food Folk Song (at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru)
If you make it through to the end you see that the guy taking the order got every last item!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I've been watching Ocra (name as per AnO) and she's had several people on today who used to be teen idols. My daughter called and said she was watching too, then said "My god Sean Cassidy is old. He looks like someones dad." I wasn't a fan, but it's funny how we expect people like that to remain ageless and we're surprised when they suddenly come back into the light of day after many years of relative anonymity and see they've aged just like the rest of us. I wasn't a Sean or a David Cassidy fan, I was more a Donny Osmond style screaming meemee. I had a fetish for big, gleaming, white teeth, I guess. I remember writing him fan letters telling him I'd turn Mormon for him if he'd just pick me. Good lord.
Peter Frampton was also on the show. Was he ever considered a teen idol? I didn't realize he was a Brit, either. I can say-- he is an old fart now.
My friend Marion doesn't get the crush on a celebrity thing. I'd say it was because she was raised in England if it weren't for the Beatles. Maybe she was raised by wolves. When you think about it, it is kind of odd, but I've always had crushes starting with Elvis. I cringe when I say I thought David Lee Roth was hotter than Georgia asphalt back in the day. Ack, what a sleaze.
Never mind.
Peter Frampton was also on the show. Was he ever considered a teen idol? I didn't realize he was a Brit, either. I can say-- he is an old fart now.
My friend Marion doesn't get the crush on a celebrity thing. I'd say it was because she was raised in England if it weren't for the Beatles. Maybe she was raised by wolves. When you think about it, it is kind of odd, but I've always had crushes starting with Elvis. I cringe when I say I thought David Lee Roth was hotter than Georgia asphalt back in the day. Ack, what a sleaze.
Never mind.
Cute email about beer
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Babe Ruth
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. . ."
Lyndon B. Johnson
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Horning
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
BEER:HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can!
Leo Durocher
One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Babe Ruth
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. . ."
Lyndon B. Johnson
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Horning
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
BEER:HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can!
Leo Durocher
One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
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