Thursday, July 2, 2009
Maybe a stronger person than I would be further on the road to moving on, but if you'd known me a year ago you'd be able to compare where I am now with where I was then, and you would see that I have made slow but steady progress. I'm not making any apologies for having a difficult time dealing with the demise of my marriage. I had every reason to believe the life I knew would carry on as it had for 30 years. I am only a year into building a totally new identity for myself and letting go of who I thought I was is not easy. There have been many times when I have been angry at myself for not moving at a faster pace, but I am doing the best I can.
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9 comments:
haha, thanks Propaganist. It's been touch and go on that.
It just takes time. I lost the one I loved 2 years ago and it's still hard for me. Granted, our situations are completely different.
RPM, sometimes all you can do is keep breathing.
I don't know if it has to do with being a "stronger person". Maybe you're a caring person. There's lots of folks hopping off the marriage-go-round and moving down the road like changing underwear because they never had that much commitment to their spouse or the institution of marriage.
The fact that it still affects you indicates that you were invested in the relationship.
After 18 years and three kids, mine decided marriage wasn't her thing 2 years ago this month. Thankfully, I've stopped trying to figure it out, and, like you, concentrated on slow but steady progress. The good days now outnumber the bad.
We all make progress at our own pace. As long as you are taking steps and moving forward, you are doing just fine and doing it at the pace that is right for you.
The Donald, I think that is the crux of the situation, always wondering why. I have heard 2 years may be the magic number.
Mzchief, I always appreciate your words of encouragement. I think the reason all the wankers on Barry's blog try to give you a hard time is because they know you're right.
You take all the time you want or need. You can't just kill off over half your life like it never happened.
Unfortunately, unlike many widows/widowers who KNOW their loved-one is dead and must move on, you know the Bastard is still out there. ;-)
Be gentle with yourself. It's ok to need time.
xo
I think you've made great progress. It may not be as fast as you'd like, but it's where it's supposed to be. Take care Your Majesty.
Atilla, you have voiced what I've felt. I let his leaving make me feel like over half my life didn't count. I will never understand how he could throw away the life we'd built as if none of it mattered. If he had died, it wouldn't have been his choice to leave. Thank you for getting it.
Rain, I want to snap my fingers and be in a place where I am settled and feel normal again. Then again, I can't believe this much time has already passed.
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