Dangling participles be damned

There's much to do but I cannot get motivated today. I hope the insomnia is not back because I didn't sleep worth a flip last night. I came home from a meeting last evening at 9:00 and read until midnight. I turned off the light, reluctantly because the book is a good one, and I don't think I closed my eyes until 3:00 a.m. It was probably caused by the caffeinated soda I drank. Anyway, it feels like I am walking under water.

I am going to complain about yard work again today. Besides the front and back yard, the house I rent comes with an adjoining lot I must take care of. I don't know what I was thinking. I cannot keep up with it. During the 100 degree weather I rejoiced in the fact that the grass in the lot had ceased growing. Then while I was back home in KS it rained. It really is amazing how fast vegetation can grow. It's a nightmare.

Tomorrow is homecoming for oldest grandson's football team. Since my daughter is team mom and her good friend is cheer coach, the chore of making decorations falls to them. We worked on them Wednesday night and we'll work on them today.
Side note to Obi: My team mom daughter is not the hellion you're having to deal with.

I recently started doing something I wish I'd done 3 years ago. I am going to a divorce care support group. If nothing else comes of it, it's nice to know that I am not alone in the feelings and emotions I've felt following my divorce, which is pretty much how I have felt. Alone in it. A good friend told me, and it really is true, people don't know how awful it is unless they've been through it. The news of your divorce is a 9-day wonder to most of your associates. They think, oh gosh, too bad so sad and forget it. It doesn't anger me, I was once one of the people who didn't know how awful it is.

It's been good for my sanity to know that it's normal to be feeling as I do, even this far down the line from the break up. Family and friends have told me to just get over it. I understand their frustration with me, I truly do, because I have been frustrated with me too. I look at the people in the group whose divorces or separations are recent and see their raw pain and know that, by golly, I HAVE made progress.

During this ordeal my whole concept of God has been challenged. I have been so angry at a God I haven't even been sure existed. Someone said something at last night's meeting which struck me. He said something to the effect of, "God did not want any of the bad things to happen to you, but he created us all with free will to choose our paths. He could not intervene when your ex husband chose a different path." I'm still processing that one. It comforts me in my beliefs in God pre-calamity but doesn't quite reconcile itself with recent thoughts regarding God. I don't know.

Another important happening in the furtherance of a healing process is reconnecting with an old friend whose life happenings have corresponded closely with my own. Love ya, K. I appreciate your friendship.