When I was younger I had a closer relationship with God, but as time went on I distanced myself from my beliefs and convictions and let the world in. Things were good and I could take care of myself, and when things got bad I questioned God's existence because I felt a loving God would not allow bad things to happen, yet bad things happen - - horrible things happen - - things worse than any I have experienced happen all the time. I was pissed off at a God I wasn't sure existed.
Last night at my divorce care group meeting someone said something that really struck home. Sometimes God allows bad things to happen to bring us back to a closer relationship with Him. This made so much sense to me and it gave me an answer to the question "why?" that I have been searching for for 3 years. Although I was happy in my marriage I was letting the world carry me away. He allowed the destruction of my life in order for me to return to Him. During the darkest hours I felt God had turned his back on me because I had turned my back on Him so in between bouts of questioning Him, I did not feel worthy of any comfort. Since I hadn't thanked him for my blessings why would I be worthy of His comfort? And that's what He was trying to get me to do all along!
Another aha moment from last night - He's been carrying me through it all. He has provided enough for all my needs. He has seen to it that I have been sheltered and fed. He has provided comfort in friends and family. None of this was due to anything I have done, it's all through Him.
The only thing that has ever held me back is me because God has always been here.
Now we'll see if I can practice what I preach.
10 comments:
Thank you for this, I needed the reminder.
Well, duh. ;)
=)
I'm glad the DC is working well.
It's taken a while, but I've come to the same conclusion. God doesn't condone divorce (actually, hates divorce), but, for those who seek Him in their loneliness (yeah, I'm raising my hand here), uses the opportunity to build them up stronger and better than before.
After all, He was there all along.
God is big enough to allow us to drift but He's always ready to allow us to come back. The story of the prodigal son - one that I feel very personally - shows that He will allow us to go off and do all sorts of unhealthy things and when we return to Him, He throws a party.
I'll walk out on a bit of limb to say this too. God allows us to walk away but I believe there is an evil force waiting to lure us into bad decisions that cause horrible consequences. I believe strongly in the spiritual battle raging around us and in the words of Ephesians 6 - our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the ruler of this dark world.
Great post.
Anonymous, I'm glad if it helped you!
Jarhead, I know, huh? but sometimes the eyes don't see and the ears don't hear what's right in front of us.
Obi, =) backatcha
Doolin', I would recommend DC to anybody going through a divorce. It's helped me so much. There are so many positive people in my group.
Bueno, angel on one shoulder, devil on the other, it's a matter of focusing on the good and tuning out the bad.I've had a bad habit of listening to the wrong one and believing everything it said. Sometimes my own brain gets the best of me. Thanks for the thoughtful
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Bueno is a darling, good Egg. We're lucky to have him around. You too, YM!
I will never believe that God is psychotic enough to be responsible for the crap that happens in the lives of humans. Frequently, it is faith in God that determines an individual's reaction to the crap that happens. I will always believe that the events in a person's life are there to determine the mettle of their character and not as a test/measure of their faith. I do not believe God toys with humans. I certainly cannot believe that a benevolent God would ever test and threaten the faith of a believer. That is akin to a parent beating a child just to make certain the child really loved them.
I will always believe, a person's faith in God is just that FAITH and is not tested by calamity or rewarded with riches. The reward for having faith in God is personal peace.
Mz., faith was something I was lacking, and you're right, as usual, having it does help in determining how we react to life's events because of the sense of peace it evokes.
I'm so glad I figured out what was keeping you from being able to post comments!
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